Hello! 👋 

Welcome to Issue 28 of the weekly Chronic Evolution newsletter, where I share mindfulness tips, tricks, and anecdotes to help you evolve your mindset in 5 minutes or less.

Let’s get right into it.

Your Body Is Talking to You. Are You Listening?

I knew my last relationship was doomed to fail before it even began. 

I felt it in my gut. 

It was a heavy, restrictive sensation in my stomach that would pop up unexpectedly. It was tingling across my skin telling me his words weren’t true. 

But I ignored it. 

I forged ahead despite my body’s warning signs. 

And ultimately ended up hurt because of it. 

Have you ever experienced this innate knowing? 

If you learn to listen for the signals, your body will constantly tell you what a no or a yes feels like. 

The answer is always there. You just need to develop the skill of tapping in and listening to it. Let’s work on that together today, shall we?

How to feel the no’s and yes’s inside of you

1. Find a quiet, calm place where you won’t be disturbed and where you feel safe. I like to jump in my bed and wrap myself up in my duvet. 

2. You may wish to rest one hand on your heart and the other on your belly to ground yourself. 

3. Take a deep breath in through your nose and let it out noisily through your mouth. You should make a sighing sound. Repeat this three times to get centered. 

4. Repeat: “Body, show me what a no feels like.” three times. Then, breathe into the silence and take note of any feelings or sensations that arise. Does your stomach drop? Does your chest tighten? Does your heart beat faster? Are you sweating? Do you feel the need to swallow or fidget with nervous energy? Take note of everything. 

5. Repeat Step 4, but instead, ask your body to show you what a yes feels like. Perhaps you find yourself breathing easier. Or find a smile tugging at your lips. For me, a yes is an expansive feeling in my chest. 

6. Now that you understand how a no and a yes manifest in your body, note when these sensations occur and what you’re doing when they come. You can also use them proactively in moments of uncertainty by posing questions to yourself and feeling for your body’s instinctual response. It may help guide you in a certain direction. 

I didn’t feel anything. Is something wrong with me? 😬

If you didn’t feel any sensations, that’s totally fine. Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. It takes time and intention to tap into your body’s signals, so don't be surprised if this doesn’t work for you on the first try. 

You can make this check-in a part of your daily routine and see if things change for you over time. 

You may also wish to try a slightly different technique. Instead of asking your body what a yes feels like, try telling yourself something you know to be absolute truth (Ex. I have brown eyes.), and then see how your body responds. Maybe you feel a warmth, lightness, or general feeling of ease. This is your body’s yes. 

Then, say something you know is false. (Ex. My name is insert something other than your name.) How does your body react to this statement? You may feel tightening, constriction, or general discomfort. This would be your body’s no. 

You can repeat this with various true/false statements to further tap into the feelings of a yes and no. 

I’m overthinking it. Did I really feel a yes or a no? 

I’m a chronic overthinker. I almost self-sabotaged myself with this exercise by dismissing the sensations I was experiencing. Did I really feel that? Is it enough to count as a no? 

If this is happening to you, I encourage you to go with your first instinctual response. This is your initial gut feeling, and it’s often the most accurate. 

Above all, be kind to yourself. This skill takes time to develop, and nothing you decide on must be set in stone. You can turn this into a regular practice and may find that you develop a deeper connection to these yes and no feelings in your body over time.

If you try this exercise, I’d love to hear how it goes for you. Hit reply and tell me about it, if you’d like. I can’t respond to every email, but I do read every single one.

To your chronic evolution,

Carly 

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P.P.S. You may have noticed there was no issue last week. Sorry I missed you. I had family visiting and got swept up in the whirlwind of it all. Tea was enjoyed. Tarot readings were given. And much, much laughter was to be had. My heart is full.